Seussical Salvage

i’ve heard tell of This
and i’ve heard tales of That
but what i really want
is a Cat in the Hat

he made a fine mes
i’ll grant you it’s so
but he cleaned up quite nice
when t’was time to go

so i look ’round my house
at the clutter and dust
and makes notes to self:
ORDER NOW! IT’S A MUST!

but where does one order
a clean it up cat
with his gadgets and gidgets
hidden under his hat?

if he’d just pay a visit
bring his thingymabob
with it’s unclutter button
and anti-mess knobs

there must there must
be some wild remedy
for this Seussical salvage
topsy turvy melee

i have many options
but it’s not  up to me
i dont do windows
im allergic to clean

i have a penchant for dirt
i’m a magnet for muck
tidy’s a concept
that never quite stuck

when it comes to neatness
i’m a helpless flamfloodle,
‘cuz my house manufactures
junk piles and  trash-doodles

a rescue’s in order
and if the Cat won’t do–
i’ll have to ring up
Thing One and Thing Two

if i shout loud enough
maybe Yertle the Turtle
would bring over his mop
‘fore the milk starts to curdle

or perhaps friend Horton
could help make a dent
‘cuz an elephant’s faithful
one hundred percent

if he’d just leave that nest
my vacuum’s defunct
he could fix that quick
with a flick of his trunk

if he won’t stop by
and help me outta this pinch
i’ll have to find someone,
i’ll hire the Grinch!

but if he’s busy stealing
if he simply won’t do
i’ll just have to hoodwink
Ms. Cindy Loo Who

with a zoom and a broom
i’ll call SAM I AM
he knows the way to
both Spic and to Span

won’t you please help me out
Mr. I AM SAM?
i’ll try anything, anything
even green eggs and ham

it could all be solved
by that cat in the hat
but he’s in Orlando
hanging out with the rat

so in a disarray pickle
i sit and i stew
i need a Seuss volunteer
hey, how bout you?